Once Upon A December
by TheUptownGirl
Summary: December 17th over twenty years ago is burned into their minds forever with near fatal results. SV, Pre-Phase One
1. Wrong Place, Wrong Time

It wasn't their first op together. Nor it would be their last. But it became an important milestone in both of their lives. The days were getting tougher to deal with for both of them. Everything was going wrong at the same time. There weren't enough hours in the day and the evils in the world were becoming crueler and crueler. Life was more difficult now and his feelings for her were becoming more and more evident. She couldn't catch onto him; things with her mother were too crazy. Irinia, Sydney's mother, was sentenced to death within the week and Jack, had made his point by humiliating Sydney at the Joint Task Force. He had told her that if she wasn't careful she would become a woman like Irinia. "Why did you have to say that?" Sydney remembered screaming at him.  
  
"Because that's why I tested you for Project Christmas!" He screamed back.  
  
He had trained her for the life she now hated. He stole her life. He had explained why he had done what he had and told her how much he cared for her but there was a part in her heart that just couldn't forgive him. "I don't want you turning into your mother's daughter." He sighed.  
  
"Well, since she almost killed you and killed 12 CIA agents, including Vaughn's father, I don't think you have to worry about that! You lied to me - again! You told me you tried Project Christmas was to protect me, not to protect you from being..being, I can't even bring myself to say it! You did it so you wouldn't have to deal with another woman like mom."  
  
He lied to her. One of her two allies had lied to her for almost twenty seven years and it was too much for her to take in. She had forgiven him after she found out how much he loved her but when new details had risen about Project Christmas, how he knew that she would become CIA and how Sloanee would want her. He hadn't acted fast enough to stop Sloanee but he still knew that he would want her. He knew about the plot for Danny's murder.  
  
Her work became more focused as she channeled her fury. One more confusing element in her life was that the anniversary of Laura Bristow's death was coming closer. For some reason, Sydney mourned her death even though Irinia was still alive. She rationalized it by thinking her real mother, the one that loved her died that fateful day. Complications were running high with everything in her life, including her guardian angel. Something was going on with Vaughn but she didn't want to ask and he would never tell. To make matters even worse, there were two ops that would practically overlap each other.  
  
"We leave now for Paris." Vaughn sighed in the warehouse one day. The stress of his job was beginning to show on his scruffy face. The luster was gone from his light green eyes but he still managed to come alive as soon as he heard the clicking on Sydney's healed shoes against the cold pavement of the warehouse. It was the one time of his day that he felt alive, things were in color. Everything seemed sweeter when she was around. It could just have been a crush or puppy love or whatever you wanted to call it but it was real and it made each day worth living. It was like High School all over again. She was the girl that he could never ask out because he'd die of embarrassment if she said no but every morning; she was the first thing he thought of every morning and every night before he fell asleep. Today, she made life worth living. She told him her problems with her friends, family, job, dreams, or whatever happen to distress her. He was there to look out for her and there were so many times that he would take a bullet for her.  
  
Now, he sat on the table with one leg resting on the table and the other on the floor. The poor lighting still highlighted her exhausted eyes and toned body. The love of his life had just come from SD-6 and wore her boat neck black dress that reached the edge of her knees and black pumps. Her hair was pulled behind her eyes and dried pin straight.  
  
"Okay.okay. Are we working together on this?" Sydney asked. Her mind sifted through thoughts of her crazy life and all those in it. Her eyes and her contemplation rested on Michael Vaughn. Everything felt so lazy. She felt so tired and jet lag was setting in from her op in Japan only three days ago. Maybe things would get a little less crazy. Sloanee was away for a month. She was almost glad Vaughn had called her cell phone. They had lost touch for about two weeks and began to worry if everything was still going okay. The chaos of her life was almost worth applying a new alias with a wig and a dress she would never wear. She was allowed to forget things for a few hours. It was almost worth lying continually to Francie and to Will for so many years.  
  
"Yes. Is that okay?"  
  
"Oh, yeah." She smiled and her whole face light up for a second.  
  
"Good." Vaughn smiled. Maybe their lives would calm down yet.  
  
  
  
They sat together on the plane together, just dressed in their street clothes. The plane was cold and set eerie chill throughout the entire plane. Their aliases were that they were married, happy and in love and going on their honeymoon. Sydney had fallen asleep against the chilly window and Vaughn sat starring at her. The seat next to him was empty, so he leaned against it. Everyone around them had fallen asleep. He was the only one awake.  
  
His eyes rested back on her. Why was she so beautiful? He has fallen so hard in love with her and knew in that same heart that he couldn't. He was her handler: her guardian angel. There was no room for romance unless by some chance their operation of bringing SD-6 down came quickly. It wasn't, so the romance that would ever happen between them was doomed from the start. But all the same, he couldn't help but watch her eyes flutter as her dreams soared and all of her dreams were coming true, at least in her dreams. Her head rested against the cold plane window. Vaughn took the pillow from the seat next to him and nudged her head onto it. She was so tired that she didn't even resist. Her skin was so soft under his hands. As he returned his hands from her face, she shuddered a little. "Shh. it's okay, go back to sleep." She shifted her weight quickly and leaned away from the window and onto his shoulder.  
  
"Oh, Danny." She sighed softly.  
  
There was the other problem. He knew that she was still in love with her dead fiancé. He would never be able to take Danny's place and part of him never wanted to. Danny was a part of Sydney's past and he wanted all of her, past, present, and future. "Syd." But then again, he was suppose to be in love with Alice.  
  
None of that matter right then. All he wanted to do was hold her in his arms and save her from horrible people like Arvin Sloane and Sark. She didn't need protecting physically, no. She could probably kill him if she wanted to. She just needed to be held every once and a while. Vaughn closed his eyes and pictured what it would be like, if they ever got together. Sloane would be gone and the alliance would be dissolved. Sydney would receive some sort of an award and he, well, he would be right at her side. It was just be wonderful. They would be in love and maybe even got married but how would they ever explain their pasts?  
  
  
  
They arrived at the CIA safe house with no glitches or problems. It was a relief to both of them. The worst thing was to have to think of their feet after being on a flight for so long. They were picked up by another CIA officer and brought to the house that would be their home for the next three days. It was set in the French countryside, surrounded by woods. It looked abandoned from the outside but inside there was a large assortment of firearms and weapons there. No one would ever guess what was inside the house. The look of it was very similar to the SD-6 one. There was a large bed with a simple headboard with a pile of heavy blankets sitting on it, on the wall across from the door with a couch on the left wall and a fireplace across from it. There was a coffee table by the couch covered with papers. On the wall with door there was a firearm cabinet.  
  
"It's not much but it is home." Vaughn sighed as let his black duffle bag hit the ground as he shut the door inside the house.  
  
"I've never been here." Sydney replied, standing right inside the door. "It looks just like the one for SD-6." Her eyes softly scanned the room and finally rested on the bed. It seemed so warm and inviting.  
  
Vaughn glanced over to her and laughed softly. "I guess the architects think alike."  
  
"Yeah." She walked in a little bit and sat down the bed and plopped the bag down from her shoulders. She watched him scan the room slowly and finally rest his eyes on her. It was hard to resist his gaze. "Where do you want to sleep?"  
  
"You take the bed." He replied quickly. All he wanted was for her to be comfortable.  
  
"Are you sure? I don't want to put you out or anythi-"  
  
"Syd, take the bed." It was too exhausting to have a fight with her.  
  
She simply nodded and swung her body to the side of the bed on the floor disappearing from view. "I'm just gonna get changed. I'm exhausted." She quickly explained over her shoulder. Her hands reached up for her black bag, still sitting on the bed and pulled out a pair of black sweat pants and a black sports bra. It was uncharacteristic of her to walk around in just a sports bra but she had completely forgotten to pack a T- shirt.maybe because the anniversary was coming up so fast. Her mind was elsewhere and she needed to focus for tomorrow's op. Changing quickly, she stood up, her back still to Vaughn. "You dressed?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
Sydney turned around; Vaughn had changed out of his stuffy suit to a white T-shirt and flannel pants. She couldn't help but smile at him. "I've rarely seen you out of a suit." He looked so sexy and if he would only smile, her legs would have collapsed beneath her. Her prince charming made her strong body so weak.  
  
He smiled again and his eyes traveled quickly up and down her body but he quickly caught himself. He would never let her know how he felt for her. "Yes you have."  
  
She pulled her hair into an elastic from her wrist. "Yeah.you're right..I guess you're right. But still I...I forgot that." Her voice trailed off a little.  
  
"Are you okay?" He came towards her. The moments passed so slowly to the point that he felt like the other side of the room was yards away. In reality, he only took about two seconds and reached side of the bed opposite of Sydney. He stood there, waiting in the eerie silence for her to answer. "Sydney, I need to know if your mind is on the game one hundred percent. What's going on?"  
  
Her feet brought her to the front of the bed, meeting him in the middle. "It's coming up." She said unwillingly.  
  
"What is?"  
  
She glanced at the watch fastened tightly around her strong wrist. "It's 10:23. In an hour and thirty-seven minutes it will be the anniversary."  
  
It felt like a truck had hit him at that moment. Buried emotions came back from beyond and came surging back into his brain. Flashes of his anniversary, pictures, images, everything flooded his mind. He knew it was coming up but he had blocked it out of his mind for a few hours. 


	2. Sweet Surrender

"It'll be twenty-one years." She found herself getting choked up. "Twenty one years ago, my mother, Laura Bristow died."  
  
"Irinia's alias."  
  
"No, Vaughn. It was my mother. I don't care who she was but Laura Bristow was my mother for the first six years. When I was little.up until I was sixteen, I would sit by the road where the car went off the bridge, throw a flower in the water and light a candle."  
  
He felt as though he couldn't even comfort her but he stepped towards her and wrapped his arms around her. It was only the third or fourth time that he felt her body pressed against his. She collapsed into his arms and let go of her emotions. Her body felt so consoling to and his felt the same to her. Things seemed a little better as she rested her head on his shoulder. She had done the same not a month ago when she had found out about Project Christmas.  
  
"I know I shouldn't be telling you this. Especially about your."  
  
"Yes, thank you. My father's dead because of your mother and I don't want you to go there today or tomorrow." He was very uptight suddenly. He stepped back and let go of his comfort zone.  
  
"How can you deal with me? Knowing that a part of me killed a part of you?"  
  
"But Irinia isn't a part of you. She wasn't there to raise you. She's not a part of you." How could someone so evil give life to someone caring? He looked at Sydney but heard Irinia's voice blaring in his ears.  
  
"How do you thank a woman who killed your father?" She asked him coldly on one occasion.  
  
"You don't." Vaughn had replied.  
  
He snapped back into the present and Sydney was still standing there, so close to him. She was still crying."But I feel like she is. Every time I saw her, I saw myself. She does the hair thing that I do.she works out.she's trained to fight-to kill-" She let her emotions go and began to sob and wanted to collapse into the floor but Vaughn stepped forward and held her tightly first.  
  
"You're not her. You're not." He tried to quiet her but had to admit to himself he loved having her in his arms. He held onto her tightly as her legs wanted to buckle beneath her. "You're not her."  
  
She stepped back for a minute, her tears stopping, and starred into his piercing green eyes. "And my father? How could he do this to me? If it wasn't for him-"  
  
"Shh. It's okay. You can't control this. You could never control this." The silence covered them once more. "You're just upset right now. Do want to cancel the op?" He eased her down to the bed. She sat on the edge and Vaughn kneeled in front of her. He held her hands tightly in his.  
  
"Right now I want to cancel my life."  
  
"You don't mean that."  
  
She sighed and looked away from him. "My father taught me how to load a gun when I was six years old. Six! I was trained to be a spy and then he had the nerve to tell me that he never wanted me to join SD-6. He really wanted me to join the CIA! If he hadn't be training me..my mother never would have come here and-and-she would have never killed your father!"  
  
"Listen, you need to get a hold of yourself now!" He straightened up and starred at her. "You're getting hysterical."  
  
"You're right." She wiped her eyes of the falling tears and looked off to either side of her. "I just need to sleep. I just need to sleep."  
  
"Let's get you into bed." He took her arm and coaxed her into bed. She climbed in under the four heavy blankets. No fire or heat could be used in the house. "Just relax." And turned to go to his couch but Sydney grabbed his arm.  
  
"Stay. I don't want to be alone." She pulled him onto the bed, where he sat with his back to the door, facing Sydney.  
  
"I wish I knew what to say to you."  
  
"I know." Her tears stopped but her faced still glowed a bright red. All she wanted in the world was for tomorrow to come and be over and for her life to get back to as normal as it could be. "Do you have a picture?"  
  
"Of what?"  
  
"Your father."  
  
"Oh." He grew silent and drew a breath from deep inside him. "Yeah." He got up and walked over to his bag. He bent over and she couldn't see what he was doing. Turning back, he sat back down on the bed revealing a tattered photo in his hand.  
  
"He looks just like you." She sighed, glancing back and forth between the photo and Vaughn. "You look just like him."  
  
He couldn't help but cringe. Irinia had said something so similar to him upon their first meeting.  
  
"What?" She noticed his change in body language.  
  
"She said the same thing."  
  
"Irinia?"  
  
"Yeah. Listen, Syd, you need to realize that you're not her and never will be her. You are you and never will be so-"  
  
"And you won't die like your father." Was her sharp reply. "I'll make sure of that. There's no way that Irinia or anyone that works for her will ever get close to you, I won't let her."  
  
He didn't know what do say. She was so bold all of a sudden and he wasn't used to this. "I don't know what to say." He admitted honestly.  
  
"Then swear to me you won't let me turn into my mother."  
  
"I swear." He replied without hesitation.  
  
She sat up a little and let her bare stomach show. "When I was a little girl...right after my mother's death.I used to think that if I willed it hard enough, I would become my mother. That's why I enrolled in grad school. I thought if I became a teacher, like my mother, then I would somehow let her memory live on." She scoffed and continued, "Now, I'm finding all I want to do is be the opposite of my mother and now even my father. My parents both lied to me. How horrible is that? I learn the truth and now I'm turning by back on my dreams."  
  
"What do you want to do now?"  
  
"Bring down SD-6." No hesitation.  
  
"Then you're not turning your back on your dreams. You're putting them on hold, Syd." All he wanted was to touch her hand and comfort her.  
  
There was silence as Sydney scanned his face again with her eyes. She couldn't be falling for him. There wasn't any room in her life for romance. It just couldn't happen. But, no one said she couldn't flirt a little right but what about Danny? What about Noah? All those she loved had managed to die because of her career. Hell, she killed Danny by telling him about her job.she killed Noah when he tried to kill her. What if she loved Vaughn and he died, like he almost did in Taipei. It wasn't a chance she was willing to take. "You know, you never call me Agent Bristow or Sydney.I'm always Syd to you." Her pale cheeks blushed a bit.  
  
"Would you prefer me to call you Agent Bristow?" He straightened up and his eyes grew as wide as saucers. It was like he was a toddler who had gotten caught with his hand in the cookie jar.  
  
"No..no!" She got defensive. "I'm not saying it's bad or anything but I was just stating a fact but I-you're the only one that calls me Syd."  
  
He avoided her gaze. "I-" He stopped. There was no way that he could say this without getting into trouble. He couldn't confess his feelings but these bottled emotions were getting in the way..of everything.  
  
"Hmmm?"  
  
"I want to remind you what a great agent you are. You saved my life-twice. First in Taipei and then with the antidote. I should be dead but you saved my life. Just keep that in mind." He brought his eyes back to hers. It wasn't what he wanted to say. It was what he had to say.  
  
"You would have done the same for me."  
  
"In a heartbeat." He ran his hand over his chest where Sydney had injected him with adrenaline.  
  
She smiled and watched his hand, wanting to put her hand over his chest. "You scar from that?"  
  
He shook his head no and brought his hand back down to his side. He smiled a strange smile as his eyes met Sydney's. He wanted to feel her touch so badly in ached inside of him.  
  
All she wanted was to feel his hand on the side of her face or to feel his body close to hers. It would never work. This..this thing that was in front of her, her feelings for Vaughn, were only things that she could fantasize about. And she did.  
  
The moment was broken with his deep breath and sigh. He glanced at his watch. It was nearly eleven o'clock. "You need to sleep or else you're gonna stress out on me tomorrow." He got to his feet to go to his bed but Sydney grabbed his arm once more.  
  
"Please." She pleaded. "Stay." She pulled him towards her and turned over onto her left side. She grabbed his wrist and as she turned, she his hand onto her flat abdomen. With her free hand, she pulled the covers aside. He laid straight on his left side next her, feeling the heat radiating off of her body. She put her hand over his on her stomach. Her strong body still shook slightly. She was being so forward. How could she do this? She invited him into her bed and now he had his hand over her stomach. The CIA would kill her if they saw them together. Her father would kill Vaughn then her and then both again if he saw them together.  
  
"I know how you feel." He sat up a little and looked over her and whispered into her ear. "In one hour and some-odd minutes, it will be the twenty second anniversary of my father's death." He began to run his fingers over the ridges of her toned stomach.  
  
Sydney tried very hard not to cry but turned over slightly. She spoke over her shoulder, "Oh God, Vaughn! Why didn't you tell me? We should have canceled this op!" Their faces were so close to each other..the electricity between the two of them lit up the room.  
  
"That's just it. We can't let this interfere with anything. You and I, we both went for training for this and now it's time to let that training go to some good use. You can't let this affect you." He spoke hoarsely.  
  
She pressed his hand against her bare stomach and turned her body back towards the wall. "Just stay here for right now. You can go and sleep over there but just wait until I fall asleep. Please, I can't be alone right now."  
  
He smiled and chuckled lightly. "As long as I'm your handler, you will never have to worry about me leaving you." He had to remind her that their relationship was business. She inhaled deeply but had to push it aside.she had to push CIA out of her mind.  
  
"Good to know." She yawned and began to fell asleep, leaving Vaughn wide away and starring at her sleeping again. She fell asleep but was still aware of Vaughn's body next to her. He finally relaxed and fell asleep, his breathing becoming slow and steady.  
  
Her eyes opened lazily and her mind was craving more sleep. Vaughn was still asleep next to her but his hand had returned from its position on her stomach. She shifted a little and glanced at her watch with the illuminated face. It was a little after 2. It was officially twenty-one years. Feeling helpless again, she turned over onto her other side and collapsed into his body. He felt her body and shifted to lie back onto his back. She rested her head on his chest and desperately wanted to go back to sleep. As she moved, trying to keep her head clear, Vaughn woke up in the process. He waited until Sydney was settled until he opened his eyes. He couldn't let himself fall for her. Things were complicated enough and - his eyes glanced over to her watch, resting on his chest, and saw the time. It was twenty-two years since William Vaughn, his father, was brutally tortured and killed..he was so mutilated that he had to be identified by his dental records. The memories were too horrible for Vaughn lying in bed. They would probably be that way for years to come. He pulled her closer and as she buried her head deeper into his chest, his arm wrapped tightly around her back, he saw pictures of Irinia and all of their conversations. She was the devil and Sydney, her daughter, the angel.  
  
  
  
"Sydney? Sydney." Vaughn sat up slightly and attempted to wake her, still lying on her stomach. The sun had risen and light flooded the room. The French sunlight seemed so much purer than the LA. It just added to all of the emotions that were being thrown into the void.  
  
She groaned slightly, still in a deep sleep. "Mmm.just a few more minutes, baby."  
  
"Sydney." He shook her slightly. "It's time to wake up. We have to get moving." He shook her again with no response. He found himself wishing that he could wake up every morning with her on his chest. He leaned over her a little and whispered close to her face, wanting to kiss her rose colored lips so badly. All he wanted to do was to hold her and erase the pain and not have to say the words he dreaded to say so much. He somehow found the courage to whisper two very painful words to her, "Agent Bristow?"  
  
She jumped. Rising from her comfortable position and onto her knees, she tensed up, ready to fight. "What? What?" She sprang up and threw her back towards the door, facing Vaughn.  
  
"Whoa, calm down. It's just time to get going."  
  
Her body relaxed as she saw Vaughn, his hands in front of him, defensively. "God, I just wanted a few more minutes." She sighed and sat down next to Vaughn. She looked at him and then forward, towards the door. Time to get back to work. "Let's get going." 


	3. Let's Get This Show On the Road

"Okay, I see you. I'm sixty degrees to your left." Sydney tapped her ear phone. She scanned the room until her eyes rested on the handsome figure lying before her. "Do you see me?"  
  
"Oh yeah." Vaughn replied. "Great dress."  
  
"It's amazing what they can pull together on a budget." Sydney laughed.  
  
Vaughn laughed a reply and began to walk over to her. "Let's get going."  
  
They were in a Parisian club and there were more people in that one area than in any other club. He came over to her wearing a black shirt with a pair of khaki pants. He extended his right hand to Sydney's left extended hand. She was wearing a black strapless dress and the brown curly wig. The couple made their way onto the dance floor, where Vaughn wrapped Sydney's arm around his neck and pulled her close. He let go of her hand and let his hand slide down her arm and rested almost comfortably on her hip. The techno music blared in their ears as she moved closer and closer to his already warm body.  
  
"We finally get to be seen in public together." Sydney spoke into his ear.  
  
"Listen, we got a couple of minutes to spare before the other agents show.." He said into her ear. His breath tickled the back of her neck and sent chills down her spine. His sweet lips almost touched her ear.  
  
"Oh yeah?" Her hip hit his as she began to dance.  
  
"And we never saw that hockey game-"  
  
"Or went out to the restaurant in Barcelona." She pulled herself closer to him and all she could do was try to refrain from smiling to wide. It was a long time she flirted with someone. Not since Noah and even then it was too easy. Vaughn was not like anyone she ever met. Danny was safe and little unpredictable, Noah was too wild but Vaughn, Vaughn would always be there and he understood her but he had a side that she knew she didn't know.  
  
"Yeah I know but what about if we dance a little bit now?" Vaughn let his hands slide down her side onto her rear end and rested on her waist. She put her hands on the back on his neck and played with the hairline on the back of his neck. A smile crept up to his face. After all of those years of learning to keep his emotions in check, he had finally let his guard down. She was the first one to ever understand this life and she was the only woman that was an active part of his day to day routine.  
  
That was the smile she lived for. It lit up everything and made her feel so safe.so secure. It was the same smile she wished she could fill the picture frame he had given her for Christmas. She let herself be drawn closer to him, so close that they were almost pressed up against each other.both beginning to lose their breath. She felt his heart racing against her dress. The only that stopped him from holding onto her even tighter was the black, small backpack/purse thing that contained her next op's outfit.  
  
"I would like that." She replied. She scoffed a little at her own flirty nature. Her eyes glanced around and as they settled on a familiar figure, her body drifted into a cold sweat. She brought her face close to his and looked down. "Vaughn."  
  
"What?" He was still smiling and enjoying every minute that he was close to her. His hands drifted down her side but returned them to her waist again. It was all a tease to him. His forehead was almost pressed to hers and he looked down, trying to catch her eye.  
  
She picked her head up and knew she had to tell him-now. She leaned in close to him and pressed her cheek against his. He thought his heart was going to melt. She found herself wishing she could press her check against him without having to talk business. Nothing could prepare him for what she was about to say. "Sark's here."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Sark is behind you and I think he saw me. We need to get downstairs before he does. And before he sees me-he knows about me and SD- " And with that, the real adventure began. She turned on her heels and wrapped Vaughn's hands around her waist. They made their way through the crowd, filled with people dancing and sweating all over each other, making sure they avoided Sark's direction. They made their way towards a door in the silver painted room with a high arched ceiling. There was a guard there.  
  
"Stop. Where do you think you're going?"  
  
Sydney straightened up and looked over her shoulder at Vaughn. She had a wonderful flirtatious look on her face, a little bad girl side of her. "Well, we need to get out of here. I want a room." She spoke with a very heavy French accent. "Isn't that right, baby?" She looked towards Vaughn and ran her soft tongue over her painted lips and white teeth rather suggestively and rolled her neck suggestively. She couldn't focus on the intense situation that she just lived through and now could only think of what lay ahead of her.  
  
He leaned in closer to her and began to kiss the back of neck. "Oh yeah." He spoke with his native French accent.  
  
He really knew how to make a girl's heart melt. There was nothing sexier than a man speaking French. "Go! Go!" The guard all but pushed them out of the door. "You are a very luck man." He grabbed Vaughn by the arm.  
  
"Yeah, she's really great isn't she?" and he meant what he said. Vaughn smiled at her as she led him out of the heavy aluminum door. They made their way of the hectic club and saw stairs going upstairs to another level of the club and downstairs leading to the room that they needed to go to. She let go of his hands and he met her shoulder to shoulder. "You're armed, right?"  
  
"Yeah." He replied. They hustled down the stairs for four flights. At last, they reached an aluminum door guarded by more guards. Sydney and Vaughn each took one guard that gave quite a fight. Vaughn wasn't used to working in the field but he brought the guard crashing down. Sydney was doing fine but the surprisingly flexible guard kicked her squarely on the cheek. It sent her back a little but only made her more angry. She hiked her dress up and kicked him on the chest. He immediately lost his breath and was sent crashing to the ground. He hit his head and was knocked out cold.  
  
"All right!" She smiled happily.  
  
"I'll get the door." Vaughn turned towards Sydney and pressed his shoulder into the aluminum door. "Easy." He stumbled a little bit as the door opened. He needed to impress this girl. "You know, you're something else.  
  
Sydney laughed a reply but as she smiled, she felt the blood rushing to her cheek. "Mmmm.That guard!" She exclaimed as she ran her hand over her swelling face. Her heels clicked as they entered and she shut the door behind her with her free hand.  
  
He turned around to face her. "What did you do to your cheek?" He turned to face her and placed his hand on her cheek. She looked away and bit her lip.  
  
"Vaughn, I'm fine." She protested and started to move away from him.  
  
"You're swelling." He grabbed her by the wrist and loved the feeling of her ivory skin beneath his hand. She still tried to get away, insisting that she was fine.  
  
She stopped fidgeting. "It is? Do you think it's broken?"  
  
"I don't think so."  
  
"Good, I'm fine. Let's go."  
  
"No, you're not. C'm here." He stepped closer to her and touched her ballooning face gingerly. She inhaled deeply and sharply. "Did that hurt?"  
  
"A little, yeah." Her eyes darted around being careful not to look at his. All she wanted at that moment was for his hand to say on her face. It felt so warm and comforting.  
  
He touched a few more areas on her high cheekbones. "I don't think you broke anything." His fingertips ran over a few more areas but it wasn't necessary. He just need to touch her but soon caught himself.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Still doesn't look broken." He didn't want to move his hand away from her face and she didn't' want him to.  
  
"Good." Her lips parted and her eyes met his. His eyes bounced between hers and her lips. It would just be one instant and everything would be explained. They drew closer to each other, inhaling each other's breath. Their worlds were merging into one. This wasn't the fairy tale romance that Sydney had dreamed of as a child but it was something so much sweeter. A handler and his agent falling desperately in love.  
  
The moment was broken. His thoughts got in the way. This wasn't the night it was supposed to happen. "You all ready to get going?"  
  
"We're here, aren't we?" She replied coyly. Her eyes settled on Vaughn and watched his scan the room. It was the strangest room. It was French style with classy country French furniture and paintings.  
  
"Third painting from the door." He counted around the room until he came to an ugly painting that consisted of a white canvas with off white lines painted on it. It popped off the wall easily. She followed him but not before she checked him out. He was gorgeous!  
  
"What type of place is this?" Sydney whispered as he moved the painting to the ground and revealed a door.  
  
"A strange one." He replied looking over at her. She had bent over her leg and lifted the already short hem of the dress and revealed a long pick. Vaughn noticeably turned his head and watched her get her tool. Her body was absolutely perfect. She adjusted it in her hands and pressed it into the lock on the cabinet, which clicked and opened. She pulled the door open to reveal a safe to which she took her ring off and pressed it against the computer panel. The code was accessed and the safe opened, revealing a small vile of solution. The adrenaline was pumping through her body now. Being on an op like this was the most amazing feeling in the world.especially when she was working with Vaughn.  
  
"Take it and meet me at the second sight. I'll be wearing the red gown." She handed him the vile and pressed it against him. There was that charge of electricity between them again.  
  
"Be careful." He murmured and took the vile from her hand, still pressed against his chest. Their hands touched for an instant but there was no romance there. No room for love.  
  
"You too."  
  
He left without another word. 


	4. If You Want To, I Can Save You

She began to put the room back to the way she found it. Her heart was pounding once more as she exited the room, stepping over the bodies of the two guards. She started to run down the basement of the building and veered off of the staircases and headed to the bathroom off of the second floor staircase. She bolted into the bathroom painted black with silver stalls and a large mirror boarded with large light bulbs. Her mind wasn't even thinking. She found and empty stall and cautiously entered it. She opened the black purse in her hands and revealed a tightly folded dress. Her body kept going..she changed quickly into a long red dress. Strapless was the style for that night. Good, Vaughn would get to see her shoulders. Her wig was changed to a more natural looking color for her. It was browner, curlier, and shorter. While standing in the stall, she pressed her exposed skin against the cold metal stall walls. The op hadn't caused her to sweat but feeling Vaughn's body against hers only a few hours ago had made her sweat in ways that she had only around Danny. Danny. Guilt filled her heart as her brain struggled to decide. Was it possible to love the dead and be able to love someone now, in the present? The wall was cooling to her body but not her mind or her spirit. She couldn't stop. They were racing the clock. She exited the bathroom but not before checking herself out in the mirror. She smiled at her hooker-like reflection but stopped. Did Vaughn like her normally or just when she looked like she should be standing on the corner of 42nd street? No matter, there was no room for romance. She left the bathroom and went back to the stairs. Her high heels clicked against the stairs and soon she reached the lounge. It obviously sound proof. There was no loud vibrating of the bass from upstairs. The club music had all but disappeared. She regained her composure and entered the club. Vaughn, dressed in a suit, was sitting at the bar. She tapped her ear phone. "Whatcha drinking?"  
  
"Water."  
  
"Water?"  
  
"Yeah, I don't drink when I'm on an op." Vaughn looked back into his glass. "Sark's not here."  
  
"Good." She replied nervously.  
  
"Why don't you come over here and sit?"  
  
"Yeah, good idea." She followed her feet over to the bar, where Vaughn sat. "Hey, this seat taken?" Why couldn't they just be seen out in public as themselves?  
  
"No, course not." He turned his body towards her. "Can I buy you a drink?"  
  
"Just water, please. I don't like to drink much." She spoke with a faint English accent to match his. She felt drawn to him as she watched him order the water for her. The bartender brought it and she smiled and mouthed a thank you.  
  
"Now we have some time." He laughed a little. He wanted to feel her body pressed up against hers again. "Sark didn't follow us so this isn't urgent."  
  
"What are we suppose to be doing now?"  
  
"Technically, we have to do a brush pass with another agent." He sighed and frowned. "Your father still doesn't trust me."  
  
"He never will." She replied, placing her hand on the cool glass. "And we'll never trust him."  
  
"We?"  
  
"Let's not go there. Not tonight."  
  
He forgot. Today was the anniversary of their parents' death. Vaughn took one hand off of the glass and touched his neck. There was a chain fastened around his neck where there was a tiny metal of Saint Michael-a gift from his father two weeks prior to his death. He sighed as the pain of the funeral, of learning his father's killer, of learning of her daughter came rushing into his mind. His eyes scanned the dance floor, avoiding Sydney.  
  
Vaughn wanted to turn to her, pick her up and kiss her right at that moment but he knew better, "We're going to do that brush pass wh- They're here and they're on the dance floor." He leaned over towards her and continued to whisper. "We need to get to the dance floor, shall we?" He stood up and took Sydney's hand his, placing the vile from his pocket into her palm.  
  
"Of course."  
  
The music was slow and sensual. It was a jazz singer with a belting low voice. The words were lost on the two agents but the mood was right. Vaughn had positioned them near the other two agents and "by mistake" bumped into them. "I'm so sorry." Sydney gasped. She patted the female agent's shoulder. "Are you all right?"  
  
The female agent responded by pulling her hand off of her shoulder. She switched her hands and took the vile from Sydney's. Mission accomplished. "You know what love? This club is getting tired. We're leaving." She spoke with a heavy accent from some foreign country.  
  
"Yeah..yeah." The other male agent replied looking at Vaughn looking at Sydney. "Let's get out of here." He wrapped his arm around the female agent and they left.  
  
Sydney turned back around towards Vaughn. "We're all done." She smiled and let her tense body finally relax. He wrapped his arms around her waist. "How about that dance?"  
  
"I would absolutely love it." He smiled his drop-dead sexy smile that made her knees want to buckle. His soft hands found the sensitive spot on the small of her back. They were dancing close again and all they wanted to do was hold the other one closer and closer. Sydney rested his head against his strong chest and wished she could feel him closer and more often. Her reverie was about to come to a crashing halt. Lost in the feeling of his body so close to hers, she lifted her head up to see Sark standing in the doorway, surveying the room. Her heart jumped up higher into her throat.  
  
Vaughn noticed her change in body language. "I'm not that terrible of a dancer."  
  
"What? No. Sark's here."  
  
"He's in the building, I know."  
  
She pulled herself closer to his face. "He's standing in the doorway right behind you and I don't know if he saw me yet."  
  
"And if he does, we're screwed." Vaughn replied, searching his brain for a solution to this potentially deadly discovery.  
  
She knew how to hide her face but it would be so forward. There wasn't time to argue with herself. "C'm-here." She placed her hand on his face and drew her lips closer to hers.  
  
"Sydney." He breathed, inhaling her breath. He wanted this more than she could ever know. His lips were so sweet and pure but so hesitant. They paused for a moment just before their lips were about to touch, her face completely eclipsed by his. She was safe and as their lips touched, everything clicked. He wanted her as much as she wanted him. Nothing could be more perfect. He smelled so good and his lips were more addictive than any drug known to man. They kissed and through every kiss, they grew more passionate. He wanted to kiss her neck but suddenly knew better. A small, silent moan escaped her lips. He pulled close to her and her arms wrapped up around her neck.  
  
There was a tapping on her shoulder. "Knock it off, Michael." She spoke between kisses.  
  
"What?"  
  
"That tapping?" a new voice whispered in her ear.  
  
A cold sweat drifted down her back. It was Sark. Sydney didn't even bother to reply. She turned Vaughn around and they bolted from the room. There was no time for thoughts except the one that they both needed to get out of there and fast. They ran up the stairs three flights until they reached the main floor. It was silver and black, just like the rest of the building. Her heart was pounding so hard. Things were moving too fast. The dancing, the kiss, everything. Life needed to be put on pause.  
  
They reached a dead end. "Stop right there, Ms. Bristow, Mr. Vaughn." Sark replied and sighed a little bit to catch his breath. "All right now you two. Turn around very slowly or I will kill her then him." Sydney and Vaughn had their back to Sark. They were so close to freedom. They turned around but not before Vaughn reached into his pocket and pulled his gun. "Very good. Hands on your head." They obeyed, looking at the ground. Sark came closer to Sydney. "Look at me, Ms. Bristow." Sydney followed the orders of the man with the gun. He had it pointed at her abdomen. "Why, I believe that you're sweating and it can't be from that little jog we just had." He clicked his tongue in mocked shame. "Answer me, Ms. Bristow."  
  
"What do you want Sark?" Vaughn spoke up, his gun still pointed at Sark.  
  
"Ah, Mr. Vaughn! You really don't know went to keep your mouth shut, do you? Well, fine. I'll cut to the chase. Either give me the vile or-"  
  
"You want the vile? Let me get into my pocket then." Vaughn replied sharply. He would give him the dummy vile that was still stashed in his jacket pocket.  
  
"Fine. Then drop your weapon" Sark replied and pointed the gun at Sydney. "You have thirty seconds." He cocked the gun and began to count in Russian. Vaughn dropped his gun and began to fumble through his jacket and reached the dummy vile. He ran his fingers over the cool glass. It was the size of a nail polish bottle but was a square container. His hand appeared from his jacket as Sark cocked the gun. "29, 30. Time's up, Mr. Vaughn." He clicked the gun once more and began to pull the trigger. Sydney couldn't think. She raised her leg to kick the gun out from his hand but it was too late and he was too far away. Vaughn started to fight with him too but Sydney was his target. She heard the gun being shot but felt no pain. This is what it was like to die. A soaring pain came through her leg and then again and again. It buckled from underneath her. She laid on her back and watched in horror as the gun was being pointed at her once more. Vaughn jumped in and did hand to hand combat that ended in Sark's fleeing. As they fought, Sydney held back her tears and heard the gun being shot. Was she being shot again? She tried to sit up and felt a body on her leg, searing with pain. Vaughn had jumped in front of her to save her and had collapsed to the ground, leaving the vile in the open. Sark smiled, grabbed the dummy vile and ran off, leaving them there for dead.  
  
Sydney adjusted her weight and sat up, fighting the pain in her leg. She leaned against the wall, starting to pray, something she seldom did. "Vaughn, Vaughn." She gasped and moved aside, cradling his head in her arms. There were four bullet holes. Somehow, she managed to pull his body over her legs and she leaned even more against the wall for support. "Relax, relax. You're gonna be fine."  
  
He gasped for air more rapidly than she did. "Oh Syd."  
  
"Don't try to talk." She placed her fingertips over his lips. It was possible that he would die. She had lost too many men to her job.  
  
"I need to. Please, tell my mother-tell my mother I didn't die like Dad. Promise me!" His speech was broken and he began to shake from pain.  
  
"I won't need to. You're going to be fine. Please."  
  
"Syd!"  
  
"I promise. I swear. I swear." She leaned in close to him and pressed her forehead against his. "Please relax." She tapped her earphone. "Anybody there? Vaughn and I have been shot! Please help!" The tears escaped her eyes and flooded Vaughn's face. "Please!"  
  
She cradled him in her arms. She knew she needed to follow Sark and take him down but in too much pain to fight "I'm here, I'm here."  
  
"Oh Syd." He wanted to reach up and touch her but the pain in his shoulders was too much to bear.  
  
"I'm right here. She felt more tears coming to her eyes but tried to keep her emotions in check.  
  
The pain was getting more and more intense. "You know, when I first me Irinia, she said how I looked like my father. I couldn't help but think how much she looks like you but Syd. Sydney, you're nothing like her." He fell silent but started to groan in pain. "Are you shot?"  
  
She had never been in such intense pain. "Yeah but I'm okay." The blood from his wounds began to spill over her legs. "I guess we're even. You saved my life."  
  
"No." He groaned again. "I still need to save you once more."  
  
"But you saved me that first day when I came to CIA, you saved my life."  
  
He tried to smile again. "Good to know."  
  
She couldn't let him die. She was absolutely in love with him and there was no way on this earth that she would let another man in her life die because of her job. "I won't let you die, Vaughn."  
  
"Just know that." his voice trailed off. He was losing so much blood. His eyes just looked up at her blankly. Her body was beginning to turn on her: she was losing just as much blood.  
  
"Base ops, this is mountaineer, Vaughn and I have been shot! We need assistance! Please! Where the hell is the team?" She was getting weaker by the second. The world was becoming blurry and was crashing before her eyes. She tapped her earphone once more. "Please, if anyone's there! Help me!"  
  
The gasps of air from Vaughn became more rapid and his eyes rolled back into his head. The pain was too great to stay conscious anymore. Her body was becoming more feeble and as the blood seeped from her veins onto the floor and her eyes began to flutter. Her spine collapsed and she landed onto his chest, letting his blood escape onto her face. 


	5. Time Why You Worry Me

"Agent Bristow. Agent Bristow, if you can hear me, squeeze my hand." A new voice bellowed in Sydney's ear.  
  
"Vaughn? Vaughn?" She tried to sit up frantic. Her dream was too real. She dreamt she had been shot and so had Vaughn and that he was dying.  
  
"Agent Bristow, look at me. You need to concentrate. Tell me, how are you feeling?"  
  
Sydney now lied in a hospital room. Gone were her black stilettos and long, red dress. She was now in a hospital gown in a hospital with a doctor with a heavy French accent. The doctor had brown hair, cut close to his scalp and had deep silver eyes. He wore green scrubs and was starring over Sydney, lying in the hospital bed.  
  
"I'm fine." She was still a little groggy from being sedated. Her eyes fluttered, not flirtatious but in trying to see things clearly. "Where's Vaughn?"  
  
"He's in surgery now." The doctor responded simply. "Let's talk about you for the moment."  
  
"No. Talk to me about Vaughn." She yearned to feel the touch of his sensual lips pressed up against hers..the feel of his hands on the small of her back.  
  
"He sustained massive injuries-"  
  
"I know-I was there. Just tell me he's going to pull through."  
  
"You'll be able to see him in an hour. Within the hour, Agent Bristow."  
  
"How do you know I'm an agent?"  
  
"You're in a CIA associated hospital."  
  
"Good."  
  
"You lost a lot of blood during the shooting.you're lucky Agents Tyler and Stabler were there or else you could have died. Mr. Vaughn could have as well." The doctor continued to ramble on about her condition but she blocked it all out. Vaughn was going to be all right. Her love was going to pull through. Her eyes fluttered again. "I'll let you go back to sleep." And he left.  
  
Her eyes shut once more and she saw herself jogging down a long paved driveway during the autumn time. Parts of the driveway were covered in gold and red fallen leaves. She kept running in her jean flood pants and new white Ked sneakers. She made her way towards the mailbox, painted like a little farmhouse. She opened it, without a care in the world, took out a few small envelopes and a large magazine. Her free body returned back up the driveway, with the sun carefully highlighting her long, brown hair. Vaughn perched on the front three steps. He looked up when he heard her footsteps coming up the paved steps to the little French country house.  
  
"Hey baby, anything for me?" Vaughn glanced up from his book and placed it aside.  
  
"Just some junk."  
  
"Okay. C'm here." He opened his arms wide to reveal a plain t-shirt and jeans.  
  
"I need to lie down."  
  
"Then come here."  
  
She smiled a response and laid down on the steps, resting her head in his lap, crossing her ankles.  
  
"I'm so tired."  
  
"Yeah?" He ran his fingers through her hair. The gold wedding band on his finger reflected the light. He hands moved down and rested on her revealed swollen belly. Her simple t-shirt has lifted up a little bit, just enough to reveal her formerly toned stomach. "But it's worth it."  
  
"Yeah. Just think.four and a half more months and we'll have a little Laura or William." She put her hands atop his. "And no ops to worry about." Her wedding ring caught the sunlight too. "You know I won't be able to get up." And she laughed.  
  
"That's why you have me."  
  
"Definite added bonus of keeping you around." Sydney replied, reaching her hands through his hair and over his face. "I guess you're good for something."  
  
Vaughn smiled again and leaned in to kiss her. "Well, that's good to know. And today its Laura or William? What happened to Jacqueline or Ethan or Sandrine or Aiden or Alden?"  
  
She let go of his lips. "Laura's a nice name..I like the name William.today, that's what the baby's name is."  
  
"Do I get a say?"  
  
"Do you want a say?"  
  
"I liked Sandrine or Alden."  
  
She laughed again and ran her hands over her belly then placed them in his hands. She reached her head up and caught his lips in hers. The kiss felt so familiar and warming. She shut her eyes and kissed back, letting her hands leave his and putting them on his face.  
  
Her eyes opened again and she was not happy. Gone was the wedding ring, the swollen belly but instead, a white hospital room with a new bed next to her. Her eyes traveled about the room lazily and there in the bed next to her was Vaughn. She wanted to talk but knew her voice would sound so groggy. "Are you really there?" And it did.  
  
"Yeah. Are you?"  
  
"You in pain?"  
  
"Yeah, are you?"  
  
"Yeah." They were both heavily sedated. She attempted to sit up a little bit. She had been mainly shot in the leg.there went kickboxing for a while. "I'm so glad you're okay."  
  
He looked over at her and managed to pull himself up with his good arm and groaned slightly in pain. He had never seen her without make-up or her hair done. She still looked beautiful. "Where are we?"  
  
"France."  
  
France; his birthplace and where he always seemed to be in the balance of life and death. "I always manage to get injured in France. I should stop in and say hello to my mother." All he could do was thank G-d for painkillers. There were a total of five bullet holes.mostly in his shoulder and in his abdomen. Sark didn't have very good aim. Sydney didn't notice the one below his collarbone. "Haven't seen her in years."  
  
"You're originally from France?" She was surprised.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"I didn't know that."  
  
"Yeah." He wanted to talk to her.tell her how much he wished that things the other night had gone completely different. He loved the feeling of her skin.she hands.her lips.  
  
She licked those lips nervously. "I just wanted to thank you." She said after much hesitation.  
  
"For what?" He wanted to have an actual conversation with her but the drugs pouring into his veins were making his mind skip. Honestly, he barely knew what happened.  
  
"For saving my life. If you hadn't jumped in and fought with Sark..who knows what could have happened." There, she said it. It was out in the open. She had thanked him and now they were even. The ball was in his court now.  
  
"I need to sleep..." his voice trailed off and his eyes shut almost unwillingly.  
  
"Me too." She watched him enter a struggled sleep. He looked so beautiful and so peaceful. 


	6. The Wolf is Always At The Door

AUTHOR'S NOTE: THIS CHAPTER IS A LONG ONE BUT IT'S WORTH IT! FINAL CHAPTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
  
  
Flash forward. Sydney and Vaughn stayed in the French hospital for a few more days and with unwanted help of Jack, they were brought home. They were both confined to wheelchairs..especially Sydney.  
  
"You both could have been killed." Jack scolded them on the plane home. They hadn't bother to take a commercial flight but instead a private CIA one.  
  
"But we weren't, sir." Vaughn spoke up first. His actions were correct and Jack had no right, even if he was the superior.  
  
"What were you thinking? Staying in the same building as Sark? You know how dangerous he is, Mr. Vaughn!" Jack began to raise his voice.  
  
"And now he has the dummy vile and thinks he has the real one."  
  
"But that won't do us any good-"  
  
"Sir, if you had bother to read the report, you would know that in that vile is a small dose of radiation. We can follow Sark as long as he has the vile." Vaughn raised his voice to match Jack's.  
  
"Careless." Scoffed Jack. "What do you have to say about all of this, Sydney?"  
  
There was no answer. She was angry at his response. "Sydney?" Jack gave into his daughter's strong will. "What do you have to say about all of this?"  
  
"I stand by any decision Agent Vaughn or I have made." Her voice was cold. She settled her honey brown eyes on Vaughn for a moment. They made the right decisions. She waited for him to look at him but he avoided hers. She knew why and looked away. "We did the right thing."  
  
"Foolish things you mean."  
  
  
  
"Vaughn and I executed the mission successfully. The fact that we got injured is besides the point." She refused to call him "dad" but she couldn't bring herself to address him as Mr. Bristow or Agent Bristow.  
  
"Devlin doesn't see it as besides the point."  
  
"What?" Vaughn spoke up again.  
  
"Tyler spoke to Weiss and it got leaked to Devlin." Jack replied.  
  
"What got leaked to Devlin?" Vaughn's ass was on the line. His mind was racing. What had they done that was so wrong? Everything had gone as planned with the exception of the shooting..the injury..it had to be something before that. His mind settled on their answer - no!  
  
"You kissing my daughter, Mr. Vaughn." Jack's temper was beginning to show. "You are her handler..you are not allowed to be romantically involved with your agent! Especially my daughter!"  
  
"Back up, Dad! I kissed him and it wasn't anything romantic! I needed to hide my face from Sark-" Dad, she finally acknowledge her father as her father.  
  
"And that's the first thing that came to your mind? Well, that obviously didn't work. He still found you and shot you in the process!" He caught his breath for a moment.  
  
Sydney was humiliated. Not only was she having the one conversation she never wanted to have with her father but she was doing it in front of Vaughn.  
  
"Now tell me Sydney, did you sleep with him?" Jack's voice cut through the silence.  
  
"I am not going to answer that!"  
  
"Answer me!"  
  
"She doesn't have to."  
  
"Vaughn, stay out of this." Sydney snapped. "Now you listen to me, my personal life is in no way connected to the agency and you, as an agent or as a father, have no right to ask me who I'm sleeping with!" If she could have gotten up and left, she would have. She lowered her voice for a moment. "I will not be discussing my personal life with you. Ever."  
  
"That's fine." Jack replied, a hurt tone in his voice. His gaze shifted slightly to Vaughn. "Mr. Vaughn, do you care to answer that?"  
  
Vaughn looked away from the Bristows. He had that hurt look at his face. He wanted to do the right thing by both the agency and by Sydney. What was more important? "That question has no relation to our op, sir."  
  
"It has everything to do with the op!"  
  
"We made the brush pass with Tyler and Stabler, as you requested and to make it less noticeable, we stayed on the dance floor. Sark entered the room and Sydney feared he would recognize her face. We kissed to hide her. Sark-"  
  
"Still found you out!" barked Jack.  
  
Sydney scoffed. "If we were any other agents, you would never think twice about our actions. But because Vaughn knew about you and I'm your daughter, you're doing this. Knock it off, Mr. Bristow." She couldn't bring herself to call Jack 'dad.' It just seemed so wrong.  
  
"What did you just say?" Jack was about ready to kill her. "What did you just say?"  
  
"I said, knock it off, Mr. Bristow." There was no way she would back down now.  
  
  
  
Jack looked over his daughter. They had lost touch many years ago and now she depended on him for numerous things. Well, at least she did. Ever since she found out about Project Christmas, she had been back to her old ways of hating him. And she had every right to. "You want to be upset with me, that's fine. But I still deserve the respect that you would give any other agent. That respect includes your address to me."  
  
"Fine, dad." Sydney said, patronizing him. Her breath was slow and steady. She had inherited his temper. "But I'm still not answering your question."  
  
"You will either tell me, tell Devlin, or have a physical exam, Sydney." Jack answered her tone.  
  
"No, I won't. It has nothing to do with the op! My personal life has nothing to do with this op!"  
  
Vaughn opened his mouth to say something but quickly decided against it. Sydney was important to him but for a moment, his job took the number one spot in his heart. If he lost his job then he would never be able to see Sydney. He couldn't even bring himself to look at Sydney. He knew deep in his heart that if he so much at glanced at her, Jack would take him from his wheelchair and throw him across the plane.  
  
Why wasn't he saying anything? Sydney wanted to hear Vaughn's voice defending their actions and more importantly her but he didn't even look at her. "When is the plane landing?" She asked, her voice still sounding hurt.  
  
"In about two minutes." Jack replied roughly.  
  
"I don't want to be brought into see Devlin about this, DAD." Sydney said almost painfully. "This stays between the three of us. Our actions and your accusations. Got it?"  
  
"If Devlin calls you in that is not my responsibility."  
  
Vaughn sighed a little too loudly. The pain medication was beginning to run low and he felt every heart beat, every bit of his rapid pulse in his shoulder.  
  
"Mine's running low too." Sydney replied, glancing next to her. She was suddenly grateful that Jack had an empty cargo plane pick them up from the hospital. There was no one else on board with the exception of Sydney and Vaughn, both strapped to their wheelchairs and the floor and Jack, who sat on a weighted crate. There were no IV's or heart monitors or anything remotely looking like the two has just come from the hospital but the two wheelchairs. Sydney was dressed in a simple black t-shirt and black sweat pants from the safe house. She ran her fingers over her pants and felt the hard cast. It felt so harsh and cold. She wanted to be able to feel her skin but more, she wanted to feel Vaughn's hand on her skin. Her thoughts became so random. They settled on Sark, who had recently made a deal with Sydney and Sloane but had gone back on both of them. He now knew that she was a double agent but then again, did? Things were too confusing! How did he know Vaughn? Why hadn't Sark finished her? Things didn't make sense.  
  
"Are you okay?" Vaughn hushed his voice and looked in her direction and moved his good hand as if to touch hers.  
  
"I will be." She sounded distracted to him.  
  
"What is it?" Vaughn continued, ignoring Jack.  
  
"We're landing now. I'm going up front." Jack informed them and walked to the cockpit.  
  
"What is it?" Vaughn asked again. This time he moved his hand and touched hers. She jumped slightly but then relaxed. "You don't sound right."  
  
"How am I going to explain this to Francie?"  
  
"Mmm..tell her while you were on your business trip, oh G- d..you..were dancing with this really cute French guy, that would be me, and..and while you two were running out of the club you were at.your..heel caught on the stairs and you..you...broke your ankle or sprained it or whatever girls do to their ankles in heels that would require a cast." Vaughn tripped and struggled over his own lie.  
  
"Sounds good to me."  
  
"Good."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
The silence filled the area once more. Sydney involuntary braced herself as the plane landed and hit the ground. It was as smooth as a landing in that plane could get. When the plane finally stopped moving, she realized that she had grabbed Vaughn's hand and held it tightly. Realizing what she had done, she let it go and folded her hands neatly in her lap.  
  
"Nothing happened during this whole op. Absolutely nothing." Sydney spoke aloud, trying to convince herself.  
  
"That's right." Vaughn said, trying to convince himself.  
  
"What do you want to do first when we get home?" She needed to hear his voice just once more before they parted ways. She shifted her weight in the chair and groaned softly.  
  
"Shave. Those nurses were trying to butcher my face." He smiled and watched Sydney's face for approval. "What about you?" Her voice would be pain-killer enough for him.  
  
"Get that hospital smell off of me." She shuddered at the faint scent of hospital on her. "I hate that smell more than I hate Arvin's cheap cologne."  
  
Vaughn laughed. "It must smell awful."  
  
Before they knew it, CIA agents were flooding the plane. They un- strapped Sydney and lifted her up into their arms. She couldn't help but wish she was in Vaughn's arms. Her eyes glanced over the unfamiliar agent's shoulders. Vaughn was being un-strapped by another group of agents and helped to his feet. He wasn't being carried but instead just supported by two strong looking male agents. Sydney sighed.  
  
"Good day, Agent Bristow." A female agent greeted her off of the plane. She had curly red hair and black cat-eye glasses. "We have you to thank. Because you let Sark get the vile, we have been tracking him and have pinpointed to a lab in Northern Siberia. There's a team now being sent out to get him." She spoke rapidly and followed Sydney into the main CIA building. They entered a dismal looking hallway and began to walk towards a gray steel elevator.  
  
"Who are you?" Sydney breathed.  
  
"My name is Agent Camille Martins."  
  
"Listen Agent Martins, where am I going?"  
  
"We're going down to the office."  
  
"Whose?"  
  
"Agent Vaughn's then Devlin's."  
  
"And my father?"  
  
"Going straight to Devlin's office."  
  
"Shit." Why was her father making such a big deal about Vaughn and her kissing? There was no way that he knew that she had feelings for Vaughn! It was impossible unless somehow it had been leaked but that was impossible! No one knew!  
  
"How are you feeling, Agent Bristow?" Martins continued.  
  
"Not well."  
  
"Would you like to go to the medical facility? Stop please." Martins called for the other agent, who was carrying Sydney, to stop.  
  
"No."  
  
"Then, let's keep going." Martins tapped the other agent's shoulder and he started to walk towards the elevator.  
  
"No. I want to go home. You know what? Put me down. Get me crutches and let me go home. I need to go home." She began to struggle with the agent holding her. He let her win and set her down. She put her weight on her left foot, the un-shot foot. "I'm going home. Tell Devlin that I'll be back when the cast comes off my foot. Sloane's back in a week and it's bad enough I'm going to have to explain my limp to him!"  
  
"But Agent Bristow."  
  
"No buts. I've been in France for a week now. Right now I need to go home, take a pain killer, and go to sleep without a nurse or doctor waking me up every half of an hour! Do you understand? I need to go home! Devlin will understand!"  
  
Martin opened her mouth to speak but promptly decided against it. Instead, she nodded her head and spoke to the other agent. "Go get Agent Bristow some crutches and get her personal belongings."  
  
  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Joey's pizza?"  
  
"Sorry, wrong number." Sydney replied to the familiar voice in the phone. It had been over ten days since she and Vaughn had returned home from Paris. She laid on her toned stomach on her bed in a pair of Francie's sweatpants that she had borrowed a while ago. She hung up the phone and got to her feet. Her ankle had almost healed. In fact, she was leaving for Malaysia in fourteen and a half hours. Her ankle was still a little shaky but she knew that she would be able to fake anything. "Be back in a bit, Will!" Sydney called as she ran or more less hobbled out of the house.  
  
"Good guys?" Will called from the kitchen.  
  
"You bet!" She slammed the door behind her and made her way towards her car. She was on her way to see the only person she had dreamed about for so many nights.  
  
  
  
Vaughn sat on his table with his leg on the table. His abdomen was still sore but he could move easier. He wasn't allowed to work out or go on any more field missions for at least another month but he was home and Sydney was on her way to see him. He feeling better. Probably because Sydney was coming. Not seeing her made the pain more intense and the nights lonelier. He ended up crashing at Weiss's apartment for a few days because he didn't know how he would deal if he passed out or something. He hadn't heard from Sydney in what felt like ages. It was a relief to receive that brown paper bag. He wouldn't hear the familiar clicking of her heels but instead the muffled sound of running sneakers.  
  
She appeared from around the corner and saw him resting on the table, arching his back to stretch out his stomach. Her body stopped and with it her breath. He had gotten more gorgeous in ten days. Was that possible? Her love had become intense since their kiss and their injuries. "You don't know how glad I am to see you." She said clear as a bell. It echoed throughout the warehouse.  
  
"Yes I do. I didn't think you were going to make it." He loved her so much. He wanted so much to run to her and hold her. "I thought we were both- I thought you would-"  
  
"Yeah I felt the same way." She walked strongly over to table and sat down next to Vaughn. Their hands almost touched and the chemistry between them was so intense. She had thought that she had hidden her feelings so well but he obviously knew how she felt for him, right? "We're even."  
  
"I guess so." He laughed a little and his green eyes lit up. "Are you sure you're up to doing this for this?"  
  
"Never let a little pain get to me." She smiled a sad smile and the momentary silence gave them both a chance to reflect. She loved the silence of their "relationship."  
  
He sighed and looked at her. "You thinking about Taipei?"  
  
"How did you know?"  
  
He knew her all too well. "Because I was thinking about Taipei which led up to France, again. And I know how you think." He stopped and inhaled deeply. "How is your father doing?"  
  
She rolled her eyes.  
  
"That well, huh?"  
  
"He's still convinced I kissed you out of emotion as opposed to the safety of our identities. Oh and I slept with you."  
  
"Well, you-we didn't." He was beginning to grow uncomfortable. "And that.that was just.that kiss..it was just for the op.no emotions, right?" He didn't want to be right.  
  
She had to say this..for the sake of their jobs. "Right." It was almost to painful to say and she sensed that he knew this. "Nothing emotional happened during that op..with the exception of our parent's anniversary."  
  
"Right, the anniversary." He managed to stand up and turned towards her. She still looked like her mother and he was sure that he still looked by his father. The world was too ironic at that moment and he had to move on. They had survived Sark and injury. But maybe they could survive a romance but not right then. "Let's talk about your counter mission."  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 


	7. Results of Her Actions

Sydney walked slowly towards the desolate place in the Joint Task Force. She heard the mechanical raising of the bars and gently clicking of her black heels. This was the more uncomfortable place in LA. There were too many times that she hesitated coming her. Vaughn was never thrilled about coming here. There was too much history here. She had been home from Paris for three weeks now and she had a slight limp but she would be okay. There was no mission, no missing piece of information, there was nothing but a few missing answers. So, she braved her way towards Irinia's cell and there she was.  
  
Irinia was stretching with her back to the glass. "I was wondering when you were going to come back."  
  
"I have questions for you."  
  
"You have no op." She rose and turned to face Sydney. Her body was sculpted and she was so skinny.  
  
"I have questions."  
  
"Are these CIA related or personal?" Irinia approached the glass barrier separating her and her daughter.  
  
"Personal." Sydney replied, not wanting to sound too vulnerable.  
  
"Please, Sydney, go ahead. I have questions for you as well."  
  
"You left when I was six years old and I need to know for my own piece of mind..did you ever love me?"  
  
Irinia began to tear up. "I fell in love with you when I first heard that I was pregnant. Some days, even now, I find myself wishing that you were born under different circumstances."  
  
Sydney was shocked. She never expected to hear that answer. It was already common knowledge why Irinia had shot her but the wounds of the betrayal were still fresh. Sydney swallowed hard and managed to speak, "What's your question for me?"  
  
"How do feel about Agent Vaughn?"  
  
"That is not up for discussion." Sydney snapped quickly.  
  
"I told you I had questions."  
  
"I refuse to answer."  
  
"You are not hiding your emotions as well as you think you do and he doesn't either."  
  
"What are you talking about?"  
  
"What are you feelings for Agent Vaughn?"  
  
"I told you, I am not answering."  
  
She wanted to laugh at her daughter's naïve sense of the world and love. "But you don't have to. I see the way you look at him when you think no one's watching and the way he does you. The way he hangs onto everything you say, and you do the same thing. Trust me, Sydney. that is what love is."  
  
"And how would you know about love?'  
  
Irinia drew quiet for a moment. "There was a time, that I loved your father." She paused and starred at her daughter innocently "Actually, I think I still love him."  
  
If Sydney thought getting through the anniversary of Laura Bristow's death, it was absolutely nothing compared to how she felt she found out that her mother-or Irinia Derveko was still in love with the man she was set up with to steal data about the CIA. It was so much to bear.  
  
Her voice started to stammer as she tried to get back on track. "Do- Do you remember what date you disappeared?"  
  
"Should I?"  
  
"Yes. December 17th."  
  
"Three weeks ago." Irinia understood what she getting at.  
  
"And that's when you-"  
  
"Killed William Vaughn, Agent Vaughn's father." Irinia finished, the tears were almost escaping her eyes. "Trust me, that is one of my many regrets." She broke eye contact with her daughter for a moment and all Sydney wanted to do was catch it again. Her mother killed her handler's father.there was no way that she was going to be a turncoat on her now.  
  
"Then why did you do it?" Sydney replied coldly and looked away in disgust.  
  
"Your Agent Vaughn looks so much like him.that's when I left KGB, did you know that? After his death, I left. I was ordered to. Kill him or be killed myself."  
  
Sydney looked at her mother with wide eyes and wanted to speak but she couldn't find her voice.  
  
Irinia found hers first. "He looked just like him..acted like him to.same voice patterns.stubborn streaks-eye.he had the same green eyes." Each word spoken was like a knife being driven deeper and deeper into Sydney's heart. "Do you have any more questions for me, Sydney?"  
  
She grew to love and hate the way her name sounded on her mother's lips. She had saved her and her father in Pakistan. A quick sigh escaped the agent's orifice. It was now or never. "If you had the chance to leave or not twenty-one years ago December 17th, would you?"  
  
Irinia tilted her head back and looked down her nose at Sydney. They looked so much alike. It was so wonderful to be out on that op with her.see how powerful she was in person. She had surpassed her parents. "You have always hated me for that, haven't you?"  
  
"I hated you so much for dying but then when I found out that you were alive, I hated you even more. I built this idea of a real mother and then when I found out everything..now, would you do it again?" Sydney wanted to run before she heard the answer but that wasn't an option. She needed to hear this and planted her heeled shoes tightly in the ground.  
  
"I ask myself every time I look at you."  
  
It was a frustrating answer. It was neither here nor there. Sydney wanted to scream and ask even more questions but her instincts kicked in. "Thank you.." There was normally she would say 'mom' but she was too hurt.  
  
"Sydney, how is your ankle?" Irinia raised her voice to stop Sydney from leaving.  
  
Sydney turned back towards the heavy glass separating them. "I'll be fine." And left, leaving a small smile behind.  
  
"Sydney, I don't know." Irinia called after her, the most uncharacteristic thing she had done since she had been barred in her cell. "Where are you going?"  
  
"I have to do something.see someone." Sydney replied without looking back at her and started to leave the area, leaving Irinia full of tears threatening to fall over her face, already missing her beautiful daughter.  
  
  
  
  
  
".Maman's good..so is Clare and Sophie.they're all doing good.they're happy. Soph's going out with this guy named Bill, short for William. You would hate him. G-d knows I do. I guess I should get to the point of why I came. There's this girl. I sound like a teenager! But there's this girl. I really like her.and I know I shouldn't, I'm her handler. She's my agent but I've fallen in love with her. We were talking at the safe house and we have too much in common and we danced at the clubs..but the protocol. You know, you drove it into my head about rules and everything and I've always followed them. But then..she walked in with that hair, that wild red hair and she argued with me and insisted that I was arrogant but..you can set your heart by that watch, ya know, and it stopped. It stopped on that day." Vaughn shifted his weight on his haunches. "Dad, the watch stopped." He rested the flowers against the tombstone. It seemed so final and cold. It was hard for Vaughn to believe that his beloved father was in a casket, below the warm LA earth. "It's been a long time. Over twenty years. I know I haven't told you this. Sydney, my agent, her mother is the one who killed you. It's been kinda hard to deal with but it's like she turned around. I'm so confused. I wish you could help me and you know I hate asking for help but that's how confused I am. I'm in love with the daughter of your killer." Vaughn sighed heavily and looked at the tombstone with sheer frustration. "How do I escape? I hated you for so long for joining the CIA and going out on that op and being killed.but I don't anymore. I understand. I've almost been killed too many times- Maman hates it. I get that nagging speech you used to get. You know the one, 'how many times do I have to say that I don't want a son' in your case I guess it would be husband but mine it's, 'I don't want a son who saves the world. I want a daughter-in-law!' It's kinda funny. But Dad, what do I do?" He drew silent and starred down at the ground. It was so cold and final. He had barely cried for his father's death..he just remembered his mother crying hysterically. Things were so crazy.he had so much time to reflect about the op and the anniversary. "Dad," he began again with his voice steadier, "it was the anniversary of.this is confusing..of Sydney's mother's alias's death and I didn't know what to do. It was the same date that you were killed by her. It's a whirlwind. And then we went on this op in Paris and Sydney and I danced and I wanted to hold her so badly but then.we met with this guy who works for Irinia Derveko..and he shot Sydney and then me. And I got hurt pretty badly but I think Syd got it worse." He fell silent again and rose to his feet as he heard the pager vibrating on his hip. "I gotta run.Kendal wants to talk to me. I swear, he just doesn't like me. Then again, he didn't like you, right?" Vaughn managed to smile a little as he backed away. "I love you and I miss you, Dad." He quickly kissed his fingertips and touched the gravestone. He slowly began to walk away. Things were still so painful for him. He had never mourned or gotten frustrated or felt almost any emotion towards Sydney about her mother. He felt his animosity towards Irinia and as he stood by his father's grave, he almost didn't blame her. As he retreated back towards his silver car shining in the midday sun, he came to the realization that maybe there was something that happened that he didn't know about..that he shouldn't have known about. He sighed once and continued to press on, his car seeming further and further away with ever aching step. His body was still sore from his attack but it almost didn't matter. Nothing really mattered anymore. If he didn't have his job, he probably would have committed suicide years ago.  
  
He continued his quest towards the car when he saw a figure exiting his/her car, parked nearby and hurry out. It was clearly a woman carrying flowers and walking quickly towards a nearby grave. Vaughn stopped and watched her for a moment, getting lost in her world. She seemed so perfect and elegant from afar. He watched her for a moment and found himself wishing that he could have a normal life that this woman probably had. She knelt down by a grave and set the bouquet of brightly colored flowers near a gray headstone. She sat on her heels in a black pant suit and her hair pulled back and started to murmur towards the stone. He was too far away to hear what she was saying to the grave but she seemed so at peace with everything. Her head lifted and she glanced around the cemetery until her eyes rested on Vaughn. He had been caught and he knew it. Feeling the blush rising in his cheeks, he shifted awkwardly from one foot to the other. His green eyes flickered in the sun as she stood up and faced him. She stepped back a little and then started to walk towards him. The woman came closer and closer but her figure was still shadowy.  
  
"Vaughn." The figure spoke.  
  
"Sydney." He rushed towards her and wanted to hold her tightly in his arms. "What are you doing here?"  
  
"I wanted to see Irinia's or Laura's grave..and then I thought I should see Danny.I haven't for like a year." she started to hush her voice, "And now I feel like I'm falling apart and you probably didn't want to hear that. What are you doing here?" Sydney quickly babbled. Her brown eyes were damp with fallen tears and dried mascara. She had hurried from Irinia's cell to this desolate place.  
  
She was being so incredibly open with him that he felt like he should reciprocate. "I was visiting my father." He looked away from her with the fresh worry lines forming on his face. He wore his suit from the office, complete with the gun resting on his thigh. It seemed appropriate that they were brought together at this cemetery, on their lunch breaks.  
  
"He must be so proud of you." Sydney replied, finding tears wanting to spring from her eyes.  
  
Vaughn turned back towards the grave and starred at the flowers and American flag standing warm against the cold granite. "I wish I knew."  
  
"I'm sure he is. You saved your agent's life.isn't that one of the primary goals of the handler? Make sure his agent is safe.and.handled properly?" Sydney tried to choose the right words and obviously chose wrong.  
  
Vaughn turned back, fully aware that he was being a little overly dramatic. "I would hope that he's proud."  
  
Sydney smiled and looked around at all of the headstones. "I know I'm supposed to feel depressed when you come here but I never do."  
  
"Yeah..I know exactly what I mean. I feel a sense of comfort? No, that's not the right word."  
  
"No, it is." Sydney jumped in. "It's the right word. It's comforting, almost."  
  
Vaughn looked down at his waist as he heard the pager beep again. "I have to go. It's Kendal."  
  
"Go. I'm just gonna stay and talk to Danny for a little bit." Sydney patted him gently on the arm. His arm muscles bulged from his jacket sleeves. "Maybe even Laura." That was odd of her to say. There was just a tombstone for Laura.never a casket or anything. And now that she knew that there was no one really buried there, it was impossible to ever talk to Laura.she was really sitting in a cell at the Joint Task Force in her true form.  
  
He started to walk past her but promptly decided against it. He turned back and looked lovingly at Sydney, who immediately returned the look. "No, you know what? Kendal can wait. I have someone that you should meet." Vaughn started to walk over towards the familiar spot and knelt down.  
  
"What about protocol?" Sydney called after him, standing in the same spot, frozen.  
  
"Screw it!" He turned around and looked at her, "Screw protocol. They owe us for right now. Please, I want you to meet someone."  
  
Sydney nodded and followed, unsure of each step that she took. It was like she was losing her self confidence with every step towards the ominous grave. She reached the grave and stood behind Vaughn, standing so close to his shoulder. "Dad, this is Agent Sydney Bristow, Sydney, this is my father, William C. Vaughn." She stood there with Vaughn, wanting so much to comfort him and hold him but she just let her eyes cast down onto his shoulders.  
  
"Mr. Vaughn," Sydney started and knelt next to Vaughn, "like Vaughn said, I'm Agent Sydney Bristow and your son is my handler. You should be very proud. He's saved my life and for that I owe him so much more than that. He's done everything up to protocol.even faced my mother, Irinia Derveko and I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid that my mother is responsible for your death, for your murder. Mr. Vaughn, I am so sorry." She looked at Vaughn and then the tombstone. "I am so regretful for all the hurt my mother may have caused to you and your son. I wish I could take back December 17th, for both of our families.you see, that's the day that my mother faked her death and that was the day, I'm sure you know what it is." Sydney started to shake a little, knowing in full right that she babbling, "I wish I could take back her actions but I can't but still." Sydney almost started to cry, "I am so sorry and I apologize for the rest of my life." Vaughn put his hand on her arm and she let go of her emotion, sobbing "I'm so sorry." "Shh..it's okay." He held her hand tightly, full aware that they weren't suppose to be seen in public together, let alone have their hands clasped in one another's. But screw protocol. They sat there, knelt down, hands clasped tightly over his father's grave. The devil's daughter and hero's son yearned for the world to stop and for them to be together. It was impossible but for that moment, for that brief shining moment, they were allowed to be together. Fate worked against them. The most tragic event of their life brought them closer than they ever could imagine on that fateful date; December 17th oh so long ago. 


End file.
